OFFICIAL NOTICE: AN ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY STORE IS COMING
THE USELESS
DEPT.
DEPT.
LAUNCH STATUS: PENDING NONSENSE
THE WORLD'S LEAST ESSENTIAL LAUNCH
YOU DON'T
NEED THIS.YET.
Ridiculously official digital gifts for people who already have everything. Adopt a cloud. Claim a lamppost. Gift someone an alien. We're putting the finishing touches on things nobody asked for.
BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. FOR SOME REASON.
100% DIGITAL 0% NECESSARY SUSPICIOUSLY GIFTABLE
FIG. 000 — PRE-LAUNCH NONSENSE
CERTIFICATE NO. 000 / NO LEGAL VALUE
A SNEAK PEEK AT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING USEFUL
COMING TO YOUR INBOX'S DISAPPOINTMENT SOON ↓EXHIBIT A / UNNECESSARYAdopt a cloud.
EXHIBIT B / OFFICIAL-ISHOwn a random lamppost.
EXHIBIT C / VERY SUSPECTAdopt an alien.
DEPARTMENT STATUS UPDATE / 000
Our team is pretending to look busy.